so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
