Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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