this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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