cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
