So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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