Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Boobs are out for the taking
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
