You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
