I CAN MOONWALK!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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