Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
