no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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