I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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