in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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