Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
