WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
