So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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