Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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