CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
