are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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