their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
