I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
