If i come over, it means nothing
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
