I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
