You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
