When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
True strength comes from lack of pants
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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