Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
