its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
