That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
