So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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