so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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