we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
What a dumb baby whore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
