Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
