I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh god the rape fog is back!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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