I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
