At least make sure they are 18
Why
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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