matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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