So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
