I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just pynch a tree in the face
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
