Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
