Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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