sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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