so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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