You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
