Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
