youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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