ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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