Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
