u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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