rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
