i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I stole a fireplace last night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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