theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
there's paper in my vomit.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
