I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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