I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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